not-so-happy entry (a realization)

One day while waiting in line at the local McDonald's I came upon a realization that I was not happy. Well, there have been things that have been bugging me for some time now and I was aware that something was amiss in my life... I just did not understand the root cause of it. Now I do.

I made a small hint of dissatisfaction with work in a previous entry but now I am putting it in writing for all to read: I am not happy with my current job.

It is a lot of things; the co-workers, the management, the missed opportunities, the benefits, the career progression, even the crappy building. I have made some of these 'concerns' known to some of my co-workers and friends (God knows how Socs knows all about this), but basically I came to realize that I cannot do what it is I am doing right now for long. And sad to say I do not see myself improving in SPL (or Oracle if you want to play semantics).

I'm not saying SPL is a bad place to work, not at all. I've made some good friends here, and I've enjoyed most of my stay here. It's just not the same anymore. Remember my previous blog entry about SPL and Special Forces? Well, it's kinda not true anymore. We've expanded significantly from our numbers (doubling in a year I believe) and it's like we've become a group of conventional forces instead. The feeling of being 'elite' and being the best is gone. Quality of work is declining, personal ownership/responsibility of work is almost non-existent, and the concept of teamwork is trivial. It dawned to me that I became part of that corporate drone image wherein I just work for work's sake.

Some may argue that I have been part of the corporate world for 3 years and I should have realized that long ago, but that wasn't the case. I enjoyed working before, and it did not feel like work... it was more of like a challenge or a quest (cliche as it may be). The drudergy coupled with the crappy benefits (and dare I say management) is pushing me to be a cynical bastard.

Steps are in order to rectify this shit...